I... I wasn't doing it on purpose? [ was he doing it at all? WAS HE??? but he gestures towards her, as if trying to say he's not done ] But it's not like I don't... [ he's obviously struggling to say words, waving a hand around like the words will magically fall from the sky into his hand so he can throw them at her ] I just-- I don't, I mean I haven't-- I've never really--
[ he's going to die. he's literally going to die. he stops talking only for long enough to let out a really. long breath. ]
I haven't ever done this kind of stuff before, I guess?
Like, right now? [ of COURSE right now, what is he SAYING? ] Is this... really the best time to be having this conversation?
[ she just lost a hand but also like, they kissed, so when else should they have it, dumbass, and he has that realization enough that he rubs at his face instead ]
Okay, so, what I wanna do right now is sorta bury my head in the sand a little, bear with me here.
...I can wait, if you want. I mean, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. And - there’s a few other things we should talk about either way, probably.
[ all the options need to be about talking, so this is. great. ]
... Yeah. We should. Look, it's not-- it's not you. [ he did-- kiss her back, and all. ] I think it's prolly a little obvious by now I'm not... that good with feelings.
...Before we talk about that, there’s something you should know. And - you’re not going to like it, but I don’t think it’s fair of me to be doing whatever this is if you don’t hear it first.
[ there's a long pause, as if he's considering, before he admits: ]
One of 'em was me. [ she'd seen the scars, and he'd-- mentioned where they came from. it's not hard for her to figure it out, maybe. ] Truth is, I'm kinda hard to get rid of.
Sorta, yeah. [ it makes it sound so much better than it was when it's said like that. ] I was a big part of the reason he was in that mess to begin with, though.
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We have?
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[ohhhhh nooooo]
I thought we were...? Look, if I got the wrong idea, I’m sorry, but...
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I... I wasn't doing it on purpose? [ was he doing it at all? WAS HE??? but he gestures towards her, as if trying to say he's not done ] But it's not like I don't... [ he's obviously struggling to say words, waving a hand around like the words will magically fall from the sky into his hand so he can throw them at her ] I just-- I don't, I mean I haven't-- I've never really--
[ he's going to die. he's literally going to die. he stops talking only for long enough to let out a really. long breath. ]
I haven't ever done this kind of stuff before, I guess?
[ he looks mortified. ]
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Well, what do you want to do...?
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Like, right now? [ of COURSE right now, what is he SAYING? ] Is this... really the best time to be having this conversation?
[ she just lost a hand but also like, they kissed, so when else should they have it, dumbass, and he has that realization enough that he rubs at his face instead ]
Okay, so, what I wanna do right now is sorta bury my head in the sand a little, bear with me here.
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... Yeah. We should. Look, it's not-- it's not you. [ he did-- kiss her back, and all. ] I think it's prolly a little obvious by now I'm not... that good with feelings.
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[She almost laughs, but.]
Last time I had something like this [she gestures between them], it ended... about as horribly as it possibly could have, so.
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Aliens?
[ he's. guessing. but he doesn't want to make her go into details, so: ]
As established, last time I had something like this was... never, so.
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[She confirms, shaking her head.]
This is... probably the weirdest first ever, huh?
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[...]
If you decide what kind of thing you want it to be, let me know.
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Well, what kinda thing would you like it to be?
[ just. for. reference? ]
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Okay. What is it?
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[...]
I don’t.
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So, you're...?
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[She can’t quite meet his eyes, and she seems unsteady as she talks about this, somehow.]
I don’t really know why I’m here, but - like you said. Stranger things have happened.
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Death isn't always that final. Speaking from experience.
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[But, after a pause:]
I'm sorry. For whatever happened to you.
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[ he thinks. the last one is admittedly fuzzy on whether it counts and whether it really happened or not. ]
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One of 'em was me. [ she'd seen the scars, and he'd-- mentioned where they came from. it's not hard for her to figure it out, maybe. ] Truth is, I'm kinda hard to get rid of.
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