catchall for lili

[leaberator]

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[leaberator]

[ ... ah, geez. he rubs the back of his neck a little. ]

'Course you should believe in your friends. But that's not... the end-all, be-all of friendship, y'know? [ well, no. she doesn't. she just said so. he expands: ] Blindly believing in people isn't being their friend, it's being their lackey. Truth is, sometimes people mess up. And you don't gotta look past that because you're friends. Of all people, friends are the ones who should call each other out on stuff like that. You get what I'm saying?

[coastal]

[not entirely - but that's because lili's never had a friend before yona. or maybe it's more accurate to say that she's never been on this end. she's always the one messing up, making mistakes, putting people in danger. but yona would always reach a hand out to her and forgive her.

that realization is what gets lili to pause]

... then I'm calling you out. [even if she won't say they're friends again yet] If you act that rashly again, Ookurikara might cut you down before I even get to say anything.

I don't want that to happen.

[leaberator]

[ that is. clearly not the conclusion he expected her to come to, somehow, so he looks shocked for a second before rubbing the back of his neck ]

I'd rather it not happen, either. [ there's a pause, before: ] Hey, look... I'm sorry.

[ because he doesn't think he's apologized to her yet. ]

[coastal]

[ . . . she wants to say that it's not like she was personally offended - but she already admitted to him that she was. it stung, and even now she still struggles with what she's learned.]

... I've done things that are irrational too.

[and she's put other people in danger, even if it was an accident. she regretted it after, and she doesn't know if she has the grace to forgive him, and trust him again. but she can at least try to meet him a bit more halfway.]

I don't know if I can trust you again yet... but I accept your apology.

[leaberator]

... Thanks, Lili. That's a heck of a lot more than I expected.

[ it's candid, because he feels like she-- deserves it, maybe. ]

[coastal]

[ugh.

ugh.

that makes her falter some more and she wonders again - is she being a hypocrite? is this doing what's right? but...]

... you're still doing your best for people, right...? I'm still mad at you for possibly endangering others but...

I've made mistakes and decisions that put my important people in danger. It's scary.

[so she can't hold it against him to not want to have to face that weight]

[leaberator]

Yeah. 'Course I am. I haven't given up on bringing everyone back.

[ well. he could do without hisoka, but. he pauses, clearly hesitating. He hadn't started off this conversation thinking he'd share this, but if it makes her feel better...? ]

To tell you the truth... part of the reason Shess defended me so much might be because I'm the one behind the item stuff we get.

[coastal]

[she blinks in surprise at that, raising her eyebrows]

You're - what?

[god dammit zia]

So the foods...?

[leaberator]

Yep. That, the puzzle boxes... That thing I had that let me tell if Shirasu had been lying.

[ he shrugs ]

It's a random choice every week, I've just lucked out for the most part.

[coastal]

... well, it's certainly proven helpful....

[ . . . ugh. she frowns a little bit]

I can understand that too, then. At least you've been using everything you've gotten to try to aid others....

[leaberator]

I think the cats were just moral support.

[ this is clearly not what this is about ]

[coastal]

There are so many cats now.

[that was axel's doing]

[leaberator]

A lot more people kept cats than I thought would. But it's fine! They say cats ward off evil, y'know?

[coastal]

Do they?

[she doesn't look convinced but oh well]

... well - thank you for your help anyway.

I don't know if that's entirely the reason why Shess defends you so much but... it is admittedly a good one....

[leaberator]

It's one superstition. There's a lot of 'em on cats throughout the worlds.

[ he shrugs a little ]

It might not be the whole reason, but it's gotta be a big part of it.

[coastal]

... it's not really any of my business -

[because they're not friends? they're totally not friends anymore.]

But I don't think you realize how many people actually look to you for things... so do us all a favor and open up your eyes a little when you can.

[leaberator]

[ this is bullying in a conversation that started with her mad at him and he is honestly getting whiplash from it. He waves a hand dismissively. ]

And you think Shess is one of those? C'mon.

[coastal]

[the truth is that it's part of the reason why she was mad at him

because if he does reckless things, it makes it harder to trust him. it ruins his reputation. it puts him in danger. they're all things that lili didn't want to care about, once she found out about mary - but she still does. because she can't kill her heart quite the same way that others can.]

I can't speak for him...

But don't just write the idea off so quickly or I'll get mad. [ . . . ] Again.

[leaberator]

I'm not writing it off! [ the concept is, as always, mildly distressing, but it's not exactly new, the idea that people look to him for things. but. ] But it's... Shess.

[ it's not like lea doesn't know shess is a lot more competent than he is!!! ]

[coastal]

.... I sort of understand what you're saying, but it's not like he's that different from the rest of us, you know?

I'm not going to pretend to understand your relationship [because lili doesn't understand anything] but that's what I think.

[leaberator]

It's not that he's different, it's that he's got a pretty good head on his shoulder.

[ anyway. ]

We're friends. [ .....he thinks ]

[coastal]

So I've heard.

[even though kara hates it.

but....]

... well, it's good for you to have an ally who can vouch for you, I guess.

[leaberator]

... Yeah. But hopefully he doesn't have any need to again, right?

[coastal]

Right.

[ . . . okay, she'll accept that answer. she watches him a bit warily still, but she's at least less obviously mad than when this conversation started]

... I'll be watching, so don't disappoint me again.

[leaberator]

[ he laughs, low ]

Yeah. Alright. I'll do my best not to. ... Thanks, Lili.